


Thinking Out Loud

by Galaxiel_AXA



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M, birthday story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 00:58:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11703459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxiel_AXA/pseuds/Galaxiel_AXA
Summary: What is Love and Devotion?Finder is owned by Ayano Yamane.





	Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lainie (mislainieous)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mislainieous/gifts), [Sleepy_robin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_robin/gifts), [sesshouchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sesshouchan/gifts).



“The woman said, would your mouth still remember the taste of my love?”

The man replied, _“yes”_ without hesitation. “I still fall in love with you every single day until my time is over in this world.”

I paused the story and stared at him across me. I was searching for something, hoping that today is the day, but he is a blank space to me.

“It sounded cheesy.” He said instead.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Because it’s a love story.”

“Ah, that is true. Do you not like love stories?” At least he is in a good mood today, comfortable enough to engage in animated conversation with me.

“Not the cheesy ones.”

“Whys is that?”

“Well, I’m not fortunate enough to experience it first hand to believe it.”

“Surely, you have before right?”

“No, as far as I could remember, I’m always alone like this.”

I noticed his voice cracked as the last sentence escaped his lips. My throat tightens as I watch him struggles with his dancing emotions just barely touching the surface. I pretended to cough to get his attention back. I check my wristwatch realizing it may be a good time for a change of scenery and topic.

“Do you think you could walk with me to the garden? The weather is pleasant lately, and I thought some fresh air would be welcome.”      

He grinned widely and stood from his seat next to the window. “I’d love to.”

I smile as I followed him through corridors leading outside. He knew his way in and out of this place, and so I am. Short right, two lefts and straight until we reach the white painted door. The garden was perfect, and so is the weather. Not so hot and not so cold. The sky is blue and clear in contrast to what I’m feeling inside. The statement about being alone was still lingering in my head. I made sure my smile was ever present on my face as he often looks back as if to check if I’m still behind him.

“So, what happened next?” He asked catching me off guard, as I didn’t realize we reached the bench under the lush trees. I was lost in deep thoughts.

“With what?” I asked trying to sound surprised.

“The story.”

“I thought you didn’t like cheesy stories?” I uttered playfully.

“True, but I don’t mind listening to it. Although I wanted to know how the story first starts.”

“Okay,” I answered as I begin the tale from the top. He listens earnestly as the story unfolds by my words. He would sometimes stop me for a comment, or inject a question, and at some point, I saw a glimmer of hope. The laugh that is always lucid on most days. The feeling of high was worth the pain of story telling.

“So, in the end, the man falls for her even though she’s a trouble maker and a cheeky brat?”

“You could say that. It was certainly mysterious knowing the fact that they belong to different worlds.”

“That is true considering she was a commoner who struggles every day for a job, but she ended up with a good partner in the end, so it was all okay.”

“Yeah, a lucky find indeed.”

“How about you, where is your partner. I’m sure she misses you by now. You’re practically here for half a day now.” He said to me.

I wonder what gave that away until I saw where he was looking at. It was the ring on my finger, of course, it was. “Our situation is a cruel existence and—“ I didn’t know how to proceed and what to say. He waves his right hand to stop me from saying anything else. He must have felt my hesitation or my deep cutting emotions.

“Are you sure?” I asked. I wanted to know how he feels about the fact that I wanted to tell him my love life and also not tell him about it, he didn’t disappoint me with his next sentence.

“The look in your eyes tells me that it’s painful and my heart aches just watching you like that. Strange isn’t it? I mean I don’t even know you.”

“Right,” I replied after swallowing the thick substance lodge in my throat. I wanted to say more, but I also knew better than to push further. “I’m only here for a social visit.” I continued.

“You’re a very nice person.” He stated. “Having to spend it with an old man like me here in this home for the first time must have been tough but you’re doing it.”

“It was my honor to spend it with you.” I replied from the bottom of my heart.

He switched gears, avoiding other personal conversation. We ended up talking about the news and weather for a little while until the doctor came into view.

“It’s time for your supplement and nap sir.”

My feelings at that point were conflicted, happy and sad at the same time. I welcome the interruption, but it also means it was time to part with him.

“Who are you?” He asked her.

“My name is Maeka sir. I’m in charge of your care and vitamins.” She explains it to him in a tone to gain his trust and it works like magic.

“Can I skip just this once?”

“No sir, you needed them to feel better.”

“I don’t like how some of those feels grainy on my tongue.” He sounded a bit whiny, but what he said was true. I too have to take a few medications daily. It’s the only way to make me comfortable. My body was no longer flexible like how it used to be. The irony of me then and now was funny in a twisted way of nature. No one can live forever, so it’s only natural that I should have aches whenever I move.

Still, this isn’t about me.

“You should do as she says, it’s worth the risk despite the taste.” I encourage him with a smile. He grumbles under his breath but still manages to take the tiny white cup that contains his pills. My phone vibrated inside my right pocket loud enough to have him distracted from his current task. I choose to ignore it. The caller is familiar to me, always there to check on me after an extended period.

“I’ll call them back later,” I explained when he was still waiting if I’ll answer it. He mumbles again that it could be important and I assured him I would return the call once my task is done.

Again, this is not about me but him.

I watch him with the intensity that could put the sun to shame. The way his muscles relaxed once the meds kicked in, his tired eyes with the hint of bloodshot as if he wasn’t getting enough sleep, his well-sculptured face, long fingers and mannerism that I sometimes find cute even with his age. He is very handsome. Time has been kind to this man, but Mother Nature is not.

It didn’t take long, and sleepiness was becoming overwhelming to him. It was the doctor’s queue for us to go back inside, for him to rest, and for me to leave. My phone vibrated a couple more times while we were walking, but I manage to lower down the volume earlier when it first announced its caller. We took the same route as before, straight, two lefts, and short right after the door.

The room he occupied was tidied up. The two cups of tea were no longer there. The flowers that came with me were neatly adorning his enormous nightstand next to vast collections of picture frames. Photos of people this man didn’t know, and he called them decorations. The doctor tucked him in, guided me outside, and closed the door with a soft click.

“It should be five minutes more before he falls asleep.” She whispered to me, and I nod in agreement.

“Thank you for today Maeka.”

“You don’t have to say it every time.” She replied with sadness in her eyes that she tried to hide from me. “Would you like another tea while you wait?”

“If you don’t mind adding a bit of honey.”

“Anything for you.”

She answered, turned around, and off she goes leaving me alone in front of his wooden door. I counted in slow one to twenty before opening it again. His night-light is my only compass towards his bedside where I stopped. His even breathing can calm me down, washing my fatigue away. I stood there in silence gazing at his face. I’m content with it even though standing for an extended period was hard on my body.

It was an even trade.

The door creaked a little, announcing that I wasn’t alone anymore. The perfume carried by air told me who it was without saying anything. There was nothing new about it.

“How was work?” I asked not moving a muscle.

“How is he today?” I look at the shadow of the person I’m speaking.

“Better than yesterday. He was acting normal, and we were laughing for once. I missed doing that with him.”

“I called, but you didn’t answer.”

“I know.”

“I was worried about you too.”

“I know sweetheart, but Maeka was here with us.” The shadow moves closer, stopping midway.

“Dad Akihito, you don’t have to do this every day. Papa Asami doesn’t recognize you anymore. He no longer knows us, his own family, and his condition are getting worse as time passes by.”

“I’m aware my darling daughter, but life without him around is not the same. I feel empty inside and outside. I feel like a hollowed shell discarded into the darkness abandoned by the light.”

“Oh daddy, I wished there was something we could do.” The shadow closed the gap between us and I was mesmerized how her eyes mirrored the ones sleeping on the bed. Those golden orbs are filled with sorrow and tears.

“What you all do for us were plenty Ryeaki. You and your brother Ryuaki are the ones giving me strength. There was nothing else to be done. Dementia is a cruel opponent, but we can face it as a family.” I caressed her cheeks to comfort her.

“And I’m here mom, so you don’t have to worry. I became a doctor for that purpose alone.”

“Ah, my tea,” I started turning my head at the door.

“Here you go grandpa; I put extra honey just the way you like it.”

“Thank you Maeka,” I stated as they both assist me to sit and I take a sip from the warm cup. I averted my eyes towards the frame photographs. “Can you believe your Papa Asami thought those are decorations? If only he knew that those unknown faces are his legacy, our bloodlines that will carry on what we built so many years ago. Our children and grand children that love him unconditionally.”

“I know he felt it, everyday daddy.”

“That I know darling, that I know.”

We were enveloped by silence again. Words don't count at times like this. These daily visits are predictable, and it always ended the same way as today for the past four years now. To the man I love sleeping, I was a stranger, but for me, he is my world. Deep down inside me, I was happy that we found each other. Our shared life may not start as a fairytale kind of thing, but it was fulfilling, and I wouldn’t change anything even the tiniest detail.

“Happy Birthday my Ryuichi” I whispered to his ears and kissed him on his warm lips.

“I love you and goodnight.”

The door closes behind us again with a soft click. The three of us walked hand in hand to the other side where the place we call home was standing proud, and tomorrow, I’ll do it over again, and again, and again, until our time in this world is over.

 

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from Ed Sheeran song with the same title...Akihito's POV and set in the future when they are in the twilight of their lives. Happy Birthday to our favorite Golden eye man and an advanced birthday shout out to my dear friend...(Yeah, you know who are....LOL)


End file.
